人際關系處理的小技巧

　　人際關系處理一直是我們出到社會上面必修的一門課程，學好這門課程可以讓我們更好地在社會上面立足，下面是小編給大家整理的人際關系處理的小技巧，希望對大家有所幫助!

　　在人生的大部分時間里，我們以為自己是一個個體，但我們并不能隨心所欲地活著，因為我們是社會人，有著各種身份，充當著不同的社會角色，我們無法獨自生存，于是我們需要融入各種圈子，需要社交，也許你并不擅長，沒關系，這里有14個小技巧能夠助你快速變身萬人迷!周五了，燥起來吧~

　　We all care about what others think of us and want to be liked.

　　我們都在乎別人怎么看待我們，都渴望被別人喜歡。

　　The basics of getting people to like you are obvious — be nice, be considerate, be a decent human being. However, there are also many smaller, more discreet things you can do that can have a huge effect on how others perceive you.

　　讓別人喜歡上你的基本方法很明顯——要和藹、考慮周到、正派。然而你還能做一些更細小、更簡單的事，這會對其他人對你的印象造成巨大影響。

　　1. Use a Person's Name.

　　叫對方的名字。

　　Let's face it — we're all huge narcissists and we all love the sound of our own name. Learn names and make use of them. Always use an individual's name in a conversation. This tried-and-true technique is sure to increase your fan base.

　　我們要面對現(xiàn)實——我們都很自戀，喜歡聽別人叫自己的名字，問問別人的名字并且用名字稱呼他們，和別人聊天時要經常提到對方的名字。這個行之有效的技巧一定會為你贏得眾多粉絲。

　　2. Smile — With Feeling!

　　微笑——要發(fā)自內心!

　　When someone offers a huge grin brimming with authenticity, happiness rubs off on its receivers. There have been many studies showing how mood, whether positive or negative, spreads between individuals. If your positive attitude brightens someone else's day, that person will love you for it.

　　當有人真心實意地微笑時，幸福會感染對方。曾有很多研究表明無論是積極還是消極的情緒都會在人與人之間傳遞。如果你的積極態(tài)度讓別人一天都感到幸福，他也會因此愛上你。

　　3. Listen (Not Just With Your Ears).

　　傾聽(不只是用耳朵)。

　　It's probably a no-brainer that people will like you more if you listen to them. This starts with ignoring your Twitter feed while out to dinner with friends, but goes a lot further than that. You can show you're listening to someone through body language (positioning your body to face someone and mirroring his or her stance), eye contact (giving plenty of it), and verbal confirmation (we'll talk more about this next).

　　如果你聆聽別人的傾訴，他們就會更喜歡你，這件事可能很好理解。你可以從跟朋友出去吃飯時不看推特做起，但你需要做的還有很多。你可以用肢體語言(身體要面向對方模仿對方的姿勢)、眼神交流(這個要有很多)和言語上的確認(我們接下來要多聊聊這件事)來表明你在聽對方說話。

　　4. Use Verbal Confirmation.

　　言語確認。

　　Most psychology books refer to this technique as "active listening." Active listening revolves around demonstrating your listening skills by repeating segments of what an individual has said to you.

　　大多數(shù)心理學書籍把這個稱為“積極傾聽”。積極傾聽圍繞的是通過重復對方的一部分話來證明你的傾聽技巧。

　　In speech this kind of dialogue can actually go a long way to make people like you more. It makes the other individual feel as though you really are paying attention. Plus, people love to hear their own words echoed back at them as it pats their egos a bit.

　　在實際對話中這種對話能繼續(xù)下去并使人們更喜歡你。這會使對方感覺你真的很投入，此外，人們喜歡聽到他們的話被附和，這能提高他們的自信。

　　5. Conversation Recall: Prove You're Paying Attention.

　　對話回想：證明你在注意聽。

　　To really show someone you've been paying attention, try bringing up a topic that the person mentioned earlier. Did your co-worker talk about working with his son on a science fair project last week? Follow up and ask how it went. They don’t have to be big, life-changing events. In fact, sometimes it says more that you can recall and show interest in even the small happenings in another person's life.

　　為了真正表明你在注意聽，你可以試著提出對方之前提過的話題。你的同事談論上周和他兒子一起參加科學展覽了?你可以接著這個話題問問他展覽怎么樣。他們說的可能都不是威脅生命的大事，其實有時你能回憶起他們說的話、甚至對對方生活里的小事都感興趣才更有說服力。

　　6. Handle Criticism With Tact.

　　批評要委婉。

　　While you want to be generous with your praise, be stingy with your criticism. People have delicate egos, and even a slight word of condemnation can wound someone's pride. If someone makes an error, don't call that person out in front of a group. Consider praising before and after a criticism.

　　雖然贊揚時不該吝嗇，但批評別人時要注意。人們的自尊心都很脆弱，即使一點點指責都會傷害到人的自尊。如果有人犯錯誤了，不要當著一群人的面說出來。你可以考慮在批評前后都稱贊對方。

　　Another strategy for diplomatically dispensing corrections is to begin by discussing your own mistakes before digging into someone else's errors. Ultimately, aim to be always gentle with criticism and only offer it when it's truly needed.

　　另外一個委婉糾正別人的方法就是先說說自己的錯誤，然后再深究別人的錯誤。你的最終目的就是要委婉地批評，真有必要時才給予指正。

　　7. Be a Real Person, Not a Robot.

　　做一個真正的人，不做機器人。

　　People like to see character and authenticity. Try to be confident but respectful. Some cooperation experts suggest stepping toward a person and bending slightly forward when you're introduced, in a gesture of a bow. These kinds of gestures can go a long way toward making people think more highly of you.

　　人們喜歡看到個性和真實的一面，努力表現(xiàn)得自信但有禮貌。一些合作專家建議你朝一個人走去，把你介紹給別人時你要微微俯身，做出鞠躬的姿勢。這些姿勢都有助于別人對你作出更高評價。

　　8. Become an Expert in Storytelling.

　　善于講故事。

　　People love a good story, and great stories require sophisticated storytellers. Storytelling is an art form that requires understanding of language and pacing. Master the fine oral tradition of storytelling and people will flock to you like you're The Bard.

　　人們都喜歡好故事，好故事也要有擅長的人來講。講故事是一門藝術，需要對語言的理解并注意語速。掌握這種好的口述故事方法，人們就會聚集在你身邊奉你為詩人。

　　9. Ask for advice.

　　征求意見。

　　Asking someone for advice is, somewhat surprisingly, a great strategy for getting people to like you. Asking for advice shows that you value the other individual's opinion and demonstrates respect. Everyone likes to feel needed and important. When you make someone feel better about himself or herself, that person will most certainly end up liking you for it.

　　有點意外吧，向別人征求意見很容易讓別人喜歡上你。征求意見表明你看重他們的想法也能顯示你的尊重。每個人都喜歡被需要以及他們很重要的感覺，你讓別人自我感覺更好了，他最終也會因此喜歡你的。

　　10. Ask questions.

　　問問題。

　　Asking other people questions — about their lives, their interests, their passions — is a surefire way to get brownie points in their friendship books. People are egocentric — they love to talk about themselves. If you're asking questions and getting people to talk about themselves, they'll leave the conversation thinking you're the coolest. Even if the conversation didn't really give the other person a reason to like you, he or she will think better of you subconsciously just for indulging this or her ego.

　　問別人一些關于它們生活、興趣或愛好的問題是贏得友誼屢試不爽的方法。人們都以自我為中心——他們喜歡討論自己。如果你問問題，讓他們談論關于自己的事，聊完天的時候他們會覺著你真好。即使對話內容真的沒法讓對方喜歡上你，但就因為沉浸在這種自我價值感里，他或她在潛意識里也會對你印象更好。

　　那么如何溝通才能讓人心服口服呢?來看看具體的例子吧!

　　If you don't believe that it pays to think beforeyou speak, let me show you what a difference theright language tweakcan make.

　　如果你不相信三思而后言的說法，那就讓我來告訴你“說對話”和“說錯話”的區(qū)別有多大。

　　You know the difference between "I need morehelp around the house" and "You're so lazy," right?One is artful diplomacythe other, like bringing in thetanks. But the strategy involved in getting yourpoint across also applies to individual words. Forinstance, if you're.

　　“我需要你幫忙收拾下屋子”和“你真是懶死了”，這兩句話的區(qū)別你總能分辨得出來吧?前者是帶有藝術感的外交辭令，后者則是挑起罵戰(zhàn)的說法。不過，把話說到點子上的策略可以具體到每個用詞上，比如：

　　...Offering constructive criticism

　　想要提供建設性意見

　　Instead of: "You did a nice job, but the report needs to be finished."

　　與其說：“你做得不錯，但是記得把報告做完。”

　　Try: "You did a nice job, and the report needs to be finished."

　　不如說：“你做得不錯，也請記得把報告做完。”

　　The subtext: No matter how positive the first part of the statement, the “but” negatesit. “But” might as well stand for “Beholdthe Underlying Truth”. Once people hear it, they're justwaiting for the bad news。

　　潛臺詞：無論首句表達的意思多么積極，只要用了“但是”就否定了一切。一旦說話中出現(xiàn)了“但是”，就表示“注意說話人的話中話”。因此，一旦人們聽到了“但是”，他們就會等著聽后面的壞消息了。

　　...Asking your spouse to change a behavior

　　想要請求伴侶做出改變

　　Instead of: "Will you stop smoking for my sake?"

　　與其說：“你能不能為了我戒煙?”

　　Try: "Will you stop smoking for the sake of the kids?"

　　不如說：“你能不能為了孩子戒煙?”

　　The subtext: Your spousemay resentyour wanting to change his ways—and use thatresentment as an excuse not to change. Putting the focus on a third party removes you fromthe equation. And focusing on children makes people think in terms of their ideal selves。

　　潛臺詞：你的伴侶可能已經厭煩了你總是期望他能改變，然后就用這種厭煩情緒來作為拒絕改變的借口。既然如此，那就就把焦點放在第三方，讓自己從等式的兩邊擺脫出來。而把焦點放在孩子身上，會使人產生一種變成“理想的我”的想法。

　　...Presenting a problem to your boss

　　想要向老板提出問題

　　Instead of: "They have issues with the sales staff."

　　與其說：“他們覺得銷售人員有問題。”

　　Try: "We have issues with the sales staff."

　　不如說：“我們覺得銷售人員有問題。”

　　The subtext: Replacing “they” with “we” can change your outlookand the viewpoint ofothers. After all, if we're not part of the solution, we're part of the problem。

　　潛臺詞：用“我們”來代替“他們”可以改變你的立場和其他人的觀點。畢竟，如果我們不是解決問題的一方，那就是制造問題的一方了。

　　...Trying to make someone see your side

　　想要別人理解你的觀點

　　Instead of: "I know you wanted to surprise me, but changing our plans without warning mewas stupid."

　　與其說：“我知道你想給我一個驚喜，但是不事先通知我們就改變計劃，這么做很愚蠢。”

　　Try: "I know you wanted to surprise me, but changing our plans without warning me wasnot helpful."

　　不如說：“我知道你想給我一個驚喜，但是不事先通知我們就改變計劃，這么做幫助不大。”

　　The subtext: As President Obama learned the hard way this summer in discussing thearrestof Henry Louis Gates Jr., stupid is an inflammatoryword. Rather than labeling others'actions, conveythe effect of those actions。

　　潛臺詞：奧巴馬總統(tǒng)在今年夏天關于小亨利-路易斯-蓋茨被鋪一事中學到的慘痛教訓就是，“愚蠢”是一個具有煽動性的詞匯。與其給別人的行動貼上標簽，不如客觀地表達這些行為背后的影響。

　　人際關系處理的原則有哪些

　　(1) 平等的原則：社會主義社會人際交往，首先要堅持平等的原則，無論是公務還是私交，都沒有高低貴賤之分，要以朋友的身份進行交往，才能深交。切忌因工作時間 短，經驗不足，經濟條件差而自卑，也不要因為自己是大學畢業(yè)生、年輕、美貌而趾高氣揚。這些心態(tài)都影響人際關系的順利發(fā)展。

　　(2) 相容的原則：主要是心理相容、即人與人之間的融洽關系，與人相處時的容納、包含、以及寬容、忍讓。主動與人交往，廣交朋友，交好朋友，不但交與自己相似的人、還要交與自己性格相反的人，求同存異、互學互補、處理好競爭與相容的關系，更好的完善自己。

　　(3) 互利的原則：指交往雙方的互惠互利。人際交往是一種雙向行為，故有"來而不往、非理也"之說，只有單方獲得好處的人際交往是不能長久的。所以要雙方都受益，不僅是物質的，還有精神的，所以交往雙方都要講付出和奉獻。

　　(4) 信用的原則：交往離不開信用。信用指一個人誠實、不欺、信守諾言。古人"有一言既出、駟馬難追"的格言。現(xiàn)在有以誠實為本的原則，不要輕易許諾，一旦許 諾、要設法實現(xiàn)，以免失信于人。朋友之間，言必信、行必果、不卑不亢、端莊而不過于矜持，謙虛而不矯飾詐偽，不俯仰討好位尊者，不藐視位卑者顯示自己的自 信心，取得別人的信賴。

　　(5) 寬容的原則: 表現(xiàn)在對非原則性問題不斤斤計較，能夠以德報怨，寬容大度。人際交往中往往會產生誤解和矛盾。大學生個性較強，接觸又密切，不可必免產生矛 盾。這就要求大學生在交往中不要斤斤計較，而要謙讓大度、克制忍讓，不計較對方的態(tài)度、不計較對方的言辭，并勇于承擔自己的行為責任，"做到宰相肚里能撐 船"，他吵，你不吵;他兇，你不兇;他罵，你不罵。只要我們胸懷寬廣，容納他人，發(fā)火的一方也會自覺無趣。寬容克制并不是軟弱、怯懦的表現(xiàn)。相反，它是有 度量的表現(xiàn)，是建立良好人際關系的潤滑劑，能"化干戈為玉帛"，贏得更多的朋友。

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