初中英語作文范文Talkaboutmyself評析

　　Talk about myself

　　My name is zhangPing .Iam fifteen years old. I live in BeiJing. One of my favorite subjects is biology. I am interested in drawing . In my free time, I often go camping, draw some picturesof plants, enjoy the songs of birds in nature. I want to be a biologist when I grow up .I am outgoing and like talking to others.Would you like to make friends with me ? If we can be friends, I will be very glad

　　1.“picturesof”應改為.“pictures of”

　　2.文章結尾略顯不暢通，建議再寫出你交友的要求標準聯系方式較好。例如：I like making friends who are outgoing like me,Would you like to be my friend? If you’d like to,please call me at …. I will be very glad.

　　3.“…picturesof plants, enjoy the …”改為.“…picturesof plants and enjoy the …”注意并列結構最后一個成分常用and 連接。

　　文章語句連貫，句意完整，標點正確，有較強的連詞組句能力和扎實的英語基礎。我認為除結尾以外，是一篇優秀的短文。

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