SAT寫作真題批改實例講解參考
SAT學生習作修改:Is it necessary to question the authority?
分析:本文是2006年10月考題,先根據題目做思維練習。
本文作者寫的是黑人爭奪民權,就此考慮文章中要細化的內容。
Authority--- who? 本文是the white people
Question the authority--- why? (因為白人欺負黑人太甚了) How? (開會,選領導,搞抗議)
Result ---(廢除了公共汽車法)
學生文章分析
開頭段:
1Every person makes mistakes, as well as the authority. 2Thats why it is important to insist your own idea when authority is wrong. 3Development of peoples society is usually associated with challenging the authority.
問題:句一太松散;句二詞組誤用,缺定冠詞;句三和句二之間有些跳躍,意思上理解應該是挑戰權威的'結果;首段缺少明確的觀點和對下文的提示。
修改:1 I cannot agree more with the saying, 2for the authority, like common people, are likely to make mistakes or act unreasonably on some occasions. 3At that moment, the public is supposed to, at the risk of offending the authority, insist on his own belief for the further development of the society. 4Next I will take the example of __Rosa Park_____ to illustrate/substantiate my point.
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