名師點撥：雅思習作修改及評分建議及改進策略

　　題目：It seems that with the increase in use of mobile phones and computers, fewer people prefer to write letters. Will letters disappear completely?

　　審題：本文可以看作是agree or disagree 類文章，要求考生能在開頭段表明自己的.立場。探討的兩個主題是：信件 VS手機電腦。

　　這篇習作的學生的寫作框架是3773，觀點是信不會被取代，中間寫兩段，第一段探討手機電腦的兩個好處，第二段探討信的四個好處，最后總結(jié)信的優(yōu)點多，繼續(xù)推行。

　　開頭段：

　　Mobile phones and E-mails are increasingly playing 1pivital roles in our daily life in this day and age. Yet at the same time, whether 2letter will disappear has sparked heated debate. As far as I am concerned, 3it is impossible for letters to be replaced。

　　點評：首段格式清楚，略微有模板的印記，但是有拼寫錯誤，語法錯誤。會讓考官覺得是6分或以下的水平。

　　修改：

　　1 pivotal 其他重要：essential, indispensable, vital

　　2 Yet at the same time, whether letters will be replaced by phones and emails has sparked heated debate

　　3 原文impossible太過絕對。Hardly will letters fade out。

　　中間第一段：

　　On the one hand, it is arguable that those high-technology products can bring about numerous benefits。

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