幽默簡短的英語小故事24個

　　在學習、工作乃至生活中，大家一定沒少看寓言故事吧，好的寓言的寓意，會隨著讀者的閱讀進程而逐漸明晰，這是寓言獨立作為一種文學體裁的魅力所在。你還記得哪些寓言故事呢？以下是小編為大家整理的幽默簡短的英語小故事，僅供參考，歡迎大家閱讀。

　　幽默簡短的英語小故事 1

　　The Old Cat：An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.

　　Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young."

　　幽默簡短的英語小故事 2

　　Everybody dreams of doing something important. As a boy Raymond dreamed of being a scientist,infact, he is a postman now.

　　Raymond is an active young man. He livesby the saying“If you cant live the life you love, love the life you live”He greets everyone with a big smileand afriendly“Hi, howare you?”And he really wants to know! Its hardto feel unhappy when we hear him whistling happily up and down the street.

　　幽默簡短的英語小故事 3

　　Not long after my sisters wedding，one of my fathers colleagues and his wife dropped in to see Mom and Dad.The guests had not been invited to the wedding, so when the woman said，”Im sorry I didnt get over to the church the other day，”Mom assumed she meant the churchs Good Cheer Club Tea and Bazaar.

　　"Irn glad you didnt.”Mom replied.”You never saw such a mob scene!""I thought Id like to see how everyone was dressed，"the guest said."What did you wear?"

　　"Just my old navy print and my oxfords,“said Mom，"and a good thing，too，as we cleared almost a thousand dollars. "

　　"Did you take a collection?"the woman gasped.“

　　"Oh, no，“said Mom，"you know how it is，a lot of people come just to look and you dont make a thing out of them，so we decided to charge admission at the door.”

　　At this point Dad realized signals were crossed，and he suggested to Mom that she explain that my sisters wedding had been neither a mob scene nor a profit-making venture.

　　幽默簡短的英語小故事 4

　　A big一city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The ranchers prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher claimed that the bull must have been hit by the train, and wanted o be paid the fair value of the bull.

　　The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. As soon as the rancher showed up, the attorney for the railroad pulled him aside and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check，the young lawyer couldn’t resist gloating a little over his success，telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man，but I put one over on you in there. I couldn’t have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn’t have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!”

　　The old rancher replied，"Well，I’11 tell you，young Teller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that darned bull came home this morning.”

　　幽默簡短的英語小故事 5

　　One day, Robin Hood went hunting alone in the forest. He had told his men that if he should fall into any danger and could not escape he would blow his horn so that they might know and come to help him. When he was crossing a river by a long bridge he met a huge man at the middle.

　　And neither of the two would give way to the other. Robin Hood got angry and put an arrow to his bow and made ready to shoot. The stranger said it was unfair for Robin Hood to shoot a man who had only a staff in his hand. Hearing this Robin Hood lay down his bow and pulled up a small tree and returned to the stranger.

　　幽默簡短的英語小故事 6

　　A farmer is wondering how many sheep he has in his field, so he asks his sheepdog to count them. The dog runs into the field, counts them, and then runs back to his master.

　　"So," says the farmer. "How many sheep were there?"

　　"40," replies the dog.

　　"How can there be 40?" exclaims the farmer. "I only bought 38!"

　　"I know," says the dog. "But I rounded them up."

　　幽默簡短的英語小故事 7

　　Many years afterreceivingmygraduatedegree, I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as afacultymember. One day in a crowdedelevator, someone remarked on itsinefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.

　　When the door finally opened, I felt acompassionatepaton my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "Youll get that degree, dear," shewhispered. "Perseverance is a virtue."

　　幽默簡短的英語小故事 8

　　A newly married woman was sitting on a chair, looking vexed, when her husband came home. "Whats up? Why do you look so troubled?" the husband asked. The woman replied, "Im so sorry. I was ironing your new suit and

　　burned a hole in your trousers." And the man said, "Thats all right. I have another pair that is exactly the same."

　　"Thank God you do. I used it to mend this pair," the wife responded.

　　幽默簡短的英語小故事 9

　　A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live." Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, lip-suction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc.

　　She even had someone come in and change her hair color, figuring since she had so much more time to live, she might as well make the most of it. She got out of the hospital after the last operation and while crossing the street was killed by an ambulance speeding to the hospital. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 Years? "God replied, "I didnt recognize you."

　　幽默簡短的英語小故事 10

　　The parents with their three-year-old son went to see film. When they walked into the cinema, the attendant said to them, “you’ll have to go out if your son cries. But we’ll refund you the tickets.”

　　About half an hour later, the husband asked his wife, “What do you think of the film?” “I’ve never seen such a boring film.” His wife answered. “It’s not worth seeing.” “I don’t think much of it, either.” The husband said. “Wake the child up and let him cry.”

　　幽默簡短的英語小故事 11

　　A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator.

　　Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I should have brought my wife!"

　　幽默簡短的英語小故事 12

　　Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before ， so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.

　　His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.

　　After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, dont they?"

　　"Those are ants," answered his friend. "Were still on the ground."

　　幽默簡短的英語小故事 13

　　A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog cocked its leg, then urinated on its owner. Calmly, the blind man reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog. A passerby whod seen everything remarked: "That’s extremely tolerant of you, especially after what he just did.”

　　"Not really，”came the reply. "I’m just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him in the nuts.”

　　幽默簡短的英語小故事 14

　　Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he re- quested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came run- ping up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!”

　　"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?"

　　"No,”she said，"I did better than that! I got the license plate number”

　　幽默簡短的英語小故事 15

　　A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was set to give aseries of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast. For thetask, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place . With nothing else to do, the driver would sit in on the highlytechnical lectures. After several lectures, the driver commented to theeconomist, "You know, Ive heard your lecture so much that I think I coulddeliver it myself." The economist found this idea intriguing and decided toswitch places with him at his next lecture.

　　The driver gave the talk flawlessly. However, after the lecture, some onein the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had noidea how to even begin to answer. The driver considered it for a moment, andthen replied, "That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it."

　　幽默簡短的英語小故事 16

　　The miserly millionaire called a family conference, “ I’m placing a box of money in the attic,” he said.” When I die, I intend to grab it on my way up to heaven. See to it that no one touches it until it’s my time too go.”

　　The family respected his wishes. After his death, the millionaire’s wife looked in the attic. The box was still there. “ THE FOOL!” she said. ”I told him he should have put it in the basement.”

　　幽默簡短的英語小故事 17

　　The wife wanted her husband to go home early, so he said that he would lock the door after 11 oclock. The first week worked, and the second week later the husband returned. His wife locked the door according to the system, so the husband simply did not go home. The wife is depressed, after the high person pointing, modify the rule: before 23 oclock do not go home, I will sleep with the door open. The husband was so surprised that he went home on time.

　　Enlightenment: we can see that the essence of the system is not the coercion but the pull of the interests of the performers.

　　幽默簡短的英語小故事 18

　　A man was going to the house of some rich person.As he went along the road,he saw a box of good apples at the side of the road.He said,"I do not want to eat those apples;for the rich man will give me much food;he will give me very nice food to eat."Then he took the apples and threw them away into the dust.

　　He went on and came to a river.The river had become very big;so he could not go over it.He waited for some time;then he said,"I cannot go to the rich mans house today,for I cannot get over the river."

　　He began to go home.He had eaten no food that day.He began to want food.He came to the apples,and he was glad to take them out of the dust and eat them.

　　Do not throw good things away;you may be glad to have them at some other time.

　　幽默簡短的英語小故事 19

　　The fire started Saturday afternoon. Fire officials didn’t yet know how it started, but they suspected arson. Arsonists listen to weather reports. They get excited when they hear that the Los Angeles area is going to have Santa Ana winds, which can blow steadily at 30 mph and gust to 60 mph.

　　Planes dropped flame retardant around the southern edge of the fire to protect houses closest to the foothills. On the radio, a reporter said the fire had consumed 100 acres. Fire officials thought that the fire would be out within 24 hours, if the Santa Ana winds didn’t start blowing.

　　At 10:30 Saturday evening, Adam walked downtown to see if he could get a better view of the fire. He had never seen his small town so crowded on a Saturday night. Everyone was watching the fire. He got a great view with his binoculars. Even though downtown was windless, he saw flames that looked like they must have been 50 or 60 feet high. The winds had picked up in the foothills. The red flames stood out clearly against the night sky. At 11 p.m., fire officials announced a mandatory evacuation of about 100 homes north of Carter Avenue.

　　幽默簡短的英語小故事 20

　　An old farmer had two sons who fought with each other all the time. The old farmer often told them to stop fighting, but they never listened to him.

　　So one day, he asked his sons to bring him a bundle of sticks. “Can you break these sticks in half?” he asked his youngest son.

　　“Of course,” said his youngest son. “Those sticks are thin. I can break them like straw!” He took the sticks from his father, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t break them.

　　“Of course he failed,” said the other son. “He is young and weak. I will succeed because I am oldest and the strongest.”

　　The oldest son then took the sticks, but he couldn’t break them, either.

　　Then the father took out two sticks from the bundle and handed one to his sons. “Can you break them now？” he asked. And of course they could.

　　“You can learn an important lesson from these sticks,” the farmer said to his sons. “Together, you are strong, but when you are alone, you can be broken easily.”

　　幽默簡短的英語小故事 21

　　One day, a fox fell into a deep well and could not get out. A thirsty goat looked down into the well. He saw the fox. “How is the water?” asked the goat.

　　“The water is cool and delicious,” said the clever fox. “Come in and have a drink!” The goat was terribly thirsty. He jumped into the well without giving it a second thought. “But how will I get out?” asked the goat.

　　“We’ll help each other,” said the fox. “Put your front feet on the wall. I will climb up your back. Then I will help you get out.”

　　The goat agreed. He placed his feet on the wall. The fox quickly climbed out and started to run away. “Come back!” cried the goat. “I can’t get out of the well by myself!”

　　The fox turned back and said, “You silly old goat! Jump into the well was a foolish decision. You should always think twice before you act.”

　　幽默簡短的英語小故事 22

　　After Fred Astaire’s first screen test, the memo from the testing director of MGM, dated 1933, said, “can’t act! Slightly Bald! Can dance a little!” Astaire kept that memo over the fireplace in his Beverly Hills home.

　　An expert said of Vince Lombardi: “He possesses minimal football knowledge. Lacks Motivation.”

　　Socrates was called, “An immoral corrupter of youth.”

　　When Peter J. Daniel was in the fourth grade, his teacher, Mrs. Phillips, constantly said, “Peter J. Daniel, you’re no good, you’re a bad apple and you’re never going to amount to anything.” Peter was totally illiterate until he was 26. A friend stayed up with him all night and read him a copy of Think and Grow Rich. Now he owns the street corners he used to fight on and just published his latest book: Mrs. Phillips, You Were Wrong.

　　Louisa May Alcott, the author of Little Women, was encouraged to find work as a servant or seamstress by her family.

　　Beethoven handled the violin awkwardly and preferred playing his own compositions instead of improving his technique. His teacher called him hopeless as a composer.

　　The parents of the famous opera singer Enrico Caruso wanted him to be an engineer. His teachers said he had no voice at all and could not sing.

　　Charles Darwin, father of the Theory of Evolution, gave up a medical career and was told by his father, “You care for nothing but shooting, dogs, and rat catching.” In his autobiography, Darwin wrote, “I was considered by my father, a very ordinary boy, rather below the common standard in intellect.

　　Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor for lack of ideas. Walt Disney also went bankrupt several times before he built Disneyland.

　　Thomas Edison’s teachers said he was too stupid to learn anything.

　　Albert Einstein did not speak until he was four years old and didn’t read until he was seven. His teacher described him as “mentally slow, unsociable and adrift forever in his foolish dreams.” He was expelled and refused admittance to Zurich Polytechnic School.

　　Louis Pasteur was only a mediocre pupil in undergraduate studies and ranked 15 out of 22 in chemistry.

　　Isaac Newton did very poorly in grade school.

　　The sculptor Rodin’s father said, “I have an idiot for a son.” Described as the worst pupil in the school, Rodin failed three times to secure admittance to the school of art. His uncle called him uneducable.

　　Leo Tolstoy, author of War and Peace, flunked out of college. He was described as “both unable and unwilling to learn.”

　　Playwright Tennessee Williams was enraged when his play, Me, Vasha was not chosen in a class competition at Washington University where he was enrolled in English

　　XVI. The teacher recalled that Williams denounced the judges’ choices and their intelligence.

　　F. W. Woolworth’s employers at the dry goods store said he had not enough sense to wait upon customers.

　　Henry Ford failed and went broke five times before he finally succeeded.

　　Babe Ruth, considered by sports historians to be the greatest athlete of all time and famous for setting the home run record, also holds the record for strikeouts.

　　Winston Churchill failed sixth grade. He did not become Prime Minister of England until he was 62, and then only after a lifetime of defeats and setbacks. His greatest contributions came when he was a “senior citizen.”

　　Eighteen publishers turned down Richard Bach’s Jonathan Livingston Seagull, before Macmillan finally published it in 1970. By 1975 it had sold more than seven million copies in the U.S. alone.

　　Richard Hooker worked for seven years on his humorous war novel, M*A*S*H, only to have it rejected by 21 publishers before Morrow decided to publish it. It became a runaway bestseller, spawning a blockbusting movie and highly successful television series.

　　幽默簡短的英語小故事 23

　　The Young Thief and His Mother Long ago, there were a mother and a son living in a house. She worked hard everyday, but they were always poor.

　　One day, her son stole his friends bag. "Mom, what do you think of this bag?" His mother praised her son rather than scolding him. "It looks great!" The next time, he stole an overcoat.

　　She praised him again when he stole it. A few years later, he grew up to be a young man. He stole jewelry8 and brought them to his mother. "How beautiful!" This time, she did not scold her son again. Then, because he was elated by his mother, he started to steal more expensive things.

　　One day, the police caught him. Before putting him in jail, he begged the police to meet his mother. They took him to his mother. As soon as he saw his mother, he bit her earlobe. "Ouch! Whats the matter with you?" She finally scolded him. Her son answered. "If you had given me a scolding like that when I stole the first bag, I could not have become a thief." She collapsed9 as she looked at her son heading to prison. "If I only could turn back time, I would scold him severely10." She regretted that she always praised him, whatever he did.

　　幽默簡短的英語小故事 24

　　Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before ， so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.

　　約翰遜先生從前未乘過飛機。所以，有一天一位朋友邀請他乘自己的小飛機飛行時，約翰遜先生非常擔心，不敢接受。不過，由于朋友不斷保證說飛行是很安全的，約翰遜先生終于被說服了，登上了飛機。

　　His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.

　　他的.朋友啟動引擎開始在機場跑道上滑行。約翰遜先生聽說飛行中最危險的是起飛與降落，所以他嚇得緊閉雙眼。

　　After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, dont they?"

　　過了一兩分鐘，他睜開雙眼朝窗外望去，接著對朋友說道：“看下面那些人，他們看起來就象螞蟻一樣小，是不是？”

　　"Those are ants," answered his friend. "Were still on the ground."

　　“那些就是螞蟻，”他的朋友答道，“我們還在地面上。”

【幽默簡短的英語小故事】相關文章：

少兒英語幽默小故事08-13

有關幽默風趣的英語小故事27篇11-16

一眼就愛上的英語幽默小故事10-14

英語幽默故事三則07-27

少兒幽默英語故事08-24

經典英語小故事11-12

英語小故事06-13

簡短有趣英語小學生小故事08-28

勵志小故事簡短10-25

簡短有趣的小故事09-16