英語美文七篇

　　美文一：

　　Three O' Cat Is Still a Game

　　Lillian Bueno Mccue

　　What do I believe? What laws do I live by? There are so many answers - work, beauty, truth, love - and I hope I do live by them.But in everyday things I live by the light of a supplementary set of laws. I'd better call them rules of thumb. Rules of thumb aren't very grand, but they do make the wheels go round.My father and mother sent me to good schools, but the finest thing they did for my education was to have seven children. I was the oldest, and my brothers and sisters were my best teachers.

　　I learned first to pull my own weight in the boat. Kids making a bob-sled have no use for the loafer who wants a free ride. Neither has the world. I learned to make the bed I slept in, and wash the glass I used, and mend what I broke, and mop up where I spilled. And if I was too lazy or too dainty or too busy, and left it for someone else, somebody else soon taught me different.

　　Then, the same way, I learned that anger is a waste. It hurts nobody but me. A fit of the sullens got short shrift in our house. It wasn't pulling my weight in the boat. It was spoiling sport. And among seven children it got me nowhere. It might reduce four o'cat to three o'cat, but the game went on just the same, and where was I? Out of it. Better go in and join the group around the piano and forget my grievance. Better still, next time don't fling down my bat in a tantrum; keep my temper, and stay in the game.

　　Here's a rule thumb that's important, and the older I get, the more important I think it is. When I can do something, and somebody wants me to do it, I have to do it. The great tragedy of life is not to be needed. As long as you are able and willing to do things for people, you will be needed. Of course you are able; and if so, you can't say no. My mother is seventy-seven. In seventy-seven years she has never said no. Today she is so much in demand by thirteen grandchildren and countless neighbors that her presence is eagerly contended for. When I want to see her I have to pretend emergency.

　　Then there's the rule of curiosity. Your body would die if you stopped feeling hunger and thirst, and your mind will die if you lose your curiosity. This I learned from my father. My father was a naturalist. He could see the beetle under the bark, and draw it forth unharmed for us to squint at through the magnifying glass. He sampled the taste of thirty-three different caterpillars. Fired by his example, once, my sister ate an ant. In case you are wondering, caterpillars taste like the green leaves they eat, and ants taste of lemon. I personally haven't tasted any entomological specimens lately, but I am still rejoicing in the limitless curiosity, the draws me to books and people and places.I hope I never lose it. It would be like pulling down the blind.

　　Finally, there is the rule of happiness. Happiness is a habit. I was taught to cultivate it. A big stomach-ache, or a big heart-ache, can interrupt happiness, but neither can destroy it unless I permit. My mother simply wouldn't have unhappy faces moping about the place. If it was stomach-ache, she does it. If it was heart-ache, she administered love and understanding and lots of interesting things to do, and soon the sun came out again. Even the heartbreaks that can't really be mended, even those seem to yield to the habit of finding happiness in doing things, in love and in the memory of love. I hope I never lose that habit either. It would be like putting out the light.

　　So I learned to live, by the great laws, and these little rules of thumb. I wouldn't take a million dollars for any one of them, or a million times that for the years at home that taught them to me.

　　沒有我世界照常運轉

　　莉蓮·比諾·麥丘

　　什么是我所信仰的？什么是我生活的準則？答案很多，比如工作、美麗、真理、愛心，但愿我能以它們為準則。然而，生活中的我還履行著另外一套附加的法則，即經驗法則。這一法則雖然簡單，但卻能使事情順利地進行下去。父母把我送到一所很好的學校學習，但養育了7個孩子，才是他們為我的教育做的最好的事。我是家中長女，而弟弟妹妹就是我最好的老師。

　　我最先學會了身為長女的責任。對一個想搭順風車的流浪者來說，會做雪橇的孩子毫無用處。對這些孩子而言，世界也是如此。我學會了睡覺前自己鋪床，洗自己用過的杯子，修補自己弄壞的東西，用拖布拖干自己濺到地上的水。如果我過于懶惰、挑剔或忙碌，而讓別人來做這些事，馬上就會有人教我不能這么做。

　　于是，我同樣也明白了生氣于事無補。除了我自己，它傷害不了任何人。在我們家里，悶悶不樂是不會有人搭理你的。盡管不是我的責任，但卻會讓人覺得掃興。何況在7個孩子中間生悶氣對我并沒有好處。沒有我，“4只小貓”的游戲變成“3只小貓”，一樣可以玩得很好。而我呢？只能被排除在外了。最好的辦法就是，忘掉自己的委屈，加入他們，和大家一起圍著鋼琴玩。還有，最好下次不要再亂發脾氣；控制好自己的情緒，繼續玩游戲。

　　此外，還有一條經驗法則同樣重要。隨著慢慢長大，我也越來越認識到它的重要性。當我有能力做一件事，有人也希望我做時，我就必須去做。不為人所需是人生中最大的悲劇。只要你有能力并愿意為人們做一些事，人們就會需要你。你肯定能夠做到，那就不要推辭。我的母親已經77歲了。但77年來她從未說過“不”字。如今，她的13個孫兒和無數的鄰居依然很需要她，希望她能在身邊。因此當我想見她時，不得不假裝有緊急的事情。

　　除此之外，還有好奇法則。當你感覺不到饑餓和干渴時，你的身體就停止運轉了；如果你失去了好奇心，那你的思想就不再工作了。這是父親傳授給我的。他是一位博物學家。他能看到樹皮下的甲蟲，并把它毫發無傷地捉下來，放在放大鏡下讓我們看。他嘗過33種不同毛蟲的味道。有一次，在父親的示范與鼓勵下，妹妹吃了一只螞蟻。假如你對它們的味道感到好奇，我會告訴你，毛蟲的味道就像它們所吃的樹葉，而螞蟻的味道像檸檬。我個人最近并未品嘗任何昆蟲的標本，但我仍欣喜于自己無限的好奇心，它促使我博覽群書、樂于與人交往和四處旅行。我希望永遠擁有好奇心。沒有它，就仿佛放下了窗簾，讓我無法欣賞到窗外的美景。

　　最后，還有幸福法則。幸福是一種習慣。我學會了去養成這種習慣。劇烈的胃痛與心痛都會阻礙幸福，但沒有我的允許，它們絕對無法破壞幸福。母親不愿意看到家中有人悶悶不樂。如果有人胃痛，母親會給他吃藥；如果是心痛，她會給予愛和理解，并做很多有趣的事讓他忘記痛苦，重新展露笑顏。即使心碎了，無法再修補，即使有人習慣在工作、愛與愛的回憶中尋找幸福，我也希望我永遠不會將這一習慣丟棄。擁有它，就仿佛點亮了生命的明燈。

　　因此，我學會了生活，并遵循著偉大的定律與這些瑣碎的經驗法則。即使給我100萬美元，也換不去它們中的任何一個；或者即使給我無盡的時間，也無法交換那些讓我懂得這些法則的家中歲月。

　　美文二:

　　Occasionally, life can be undeniably, impossibly difficult. We are faced with challenges and events that can seem overwhelming, life-destroying to the point where it may be hard to decide whether to keep going. But you always have a choice. Jessica Heslop shares her powerful, inspiring journey from the worst times in her life to the new life she has created for herself:

　　In 20xx I had the worst year of my life.I worked in a finance job that I hated and I lived in a concrete jungle city with little greenery. I occupied my time with meaningless relationships and spent copious quantities of money on superficialities. I was searching for happiness and had no idea where to find it.Then I fell ill with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) and became virtually bed bound. I had to quit my job and subsequently was left with no income. I lived with my boyfriend of then only 3 months who financially supported me and our relationship was put under great pressure. I eventually regained my physical health, but not long after that I got a call from my family at home to say that my father’s cancer had fiercely progressed and that he had been admitted to a hospice.

　　I left the city and I went home to be with him.He died 6 months later.My father was a complete inspiration to me. He was always so strong that, for a minute after he drew his last breath, I honestly thought he would come back to life. I couldn’t believe I would never again cuddle into his big warm chest and feel safe no matter what.The grief that followed was intense for all of us 5 children and our mother, but we had each other.

　　But my oldest sister at that time complained of a bad back. It got so bad after 2 months that she too was admitted to hospital.They discovered that she had highly advanced cancer in her bones and that there was nothing that they could do.She died 1 month later.I could never put into words the loss of my sister in my life.She was a walking, talking angel and my favourite person in the whole world. If someone could have asked me the worst thing that could ever happen, it would have been losing her.She was my soul-mate and I never thought I would journey this lifetime without her.

　　你可以選擇自己想過的生活

　　生活有時候困難得難以置信，但又不容置疑。我們面臨的挑戰與困境似乎無法抵御，試圖毀滅我們生活，甚至使你猶疑是否繼續走下去。但是你總有選擇的余地。從人生低谷走向新生活的杰西卡·赫斯樂普，在這里與我們分享她啟迪心靈、充滿震撼力的生活之旅。

　　20xx年是我生活中最艱難的一年。我做著討厭的財務工作，住在難尋綠色的高樓林立的城市。我忙于無意義的交往，在一些膚淺表面的東西上大筆開銷。我尋找快樂，卻又不知道它在哪里。然后我患上了慢性疲勞綜合癥，幾乎到了臥床不起的地步。我不得不辭掉工作，同時也就斷了財源。我和那時僅相處了3個月的男友住在一起，經濟上完全依賴于他，我們的關系承受著巨大壓力。終于我恢復健康，但不久，我接到家里的電話，父親的癌癥急劇惡化，已經住進了臨終關懷中心。

　　我離開了城市，回家陪父親。6個月之后，他去世了。 父親的事讓我徹底清醒。他一直很強壯，在他咽氣之后一分鐘里，我真的認為，他會活過來。我不能相信，我再也不能依偎在他溫暖的懷抱里，享受他寬大的胸懷帶給我的安全感。母親和我們5個兄弟姐妹極為難過，但至少我們還擁有彼此。

　　但是，那時我大姐開始抱怨著背痛，2個月后，因疼痛加劇也住進了醫院。醫生們檢查發現，她已是骨癌晚期，對此他們已無能為力。1個月之后，她也走了。大姐的逝去讓我陷入難以形容的痛苦之中。在這個世界上，她是一個能走路、會說話的天使，我最喜歡的人。如果有人問我，世界上發生的最壞的事情是什么，那就是失去她。她是我的靈魂伴侶，我從來沒有想過，我會走過沒有她陪伴的生命旅程。

　　美文三：

　　The Moment Of Deliberate Choice

　　The shock and extreme heart break brought me to my knees. The pain was so great and my world just looked desolate. I had no real home, no money, no job, and no friends that cared. Not one person had even sent me a sympathy card for my loss.I made an attempt of my own life and I ended up in hospital.

　　I remember lying in the hospital bed, looking up at the ceiling and seeing my sister’s beautiful face. She stayed with me all night long.I realised during that night that I had a choice. I could choose to end my life or I could choose to live it.I looked in my sister’s eyes and I made a decision not to go with her just yet. That I would stay and complete my journey here.I also made the decision that, I wouldn’t just live any life. I would live the life that I absolutely LOVE and nothing less.

　　In that moment, the clarity that descended around me was like a light shining in a dark room for the first time. As if the earth’s plates had shifted under my feet and everything suddenly looked real for the first time.

　　抉擇時刻

　　我被打擊和極度的心痛擊挎了。強烈的痛苦使世界在我眼中變得如此凄涼。我沒有真正意義上的家，沒有錢，沒有工作，也沒有關心我的朋友。沒有一個人因我失去親人而寄給我慰問卡。我嘗試著活下去，結果住進了醫院。

　　我記得，躺在病床上，看著天花板，看到姐姐美麗的面龐。她整夜守候著我。那天晚上，我意識到我可以選擇。要么結束生命，要么活下去。望著姐姐的眼睛，我決定不跟她走。我要留下來，走完我的生命旅程。同時，我還決定，不只為生活而生活，我要完全以自己想要的方式生活。

　　在那一刻，這一想法第一次清晰得如同一盞在黑暗閃爍的明燈。好像腳下的地球版塊變換了，每一樣東西在我眼前都真實得前所未有。

　　美文四:

　　We often close ourselves off when traumatic events happen in our lives; instead of letting the world soften us, we let it drive us deeper into ourselves. We try to deflect the hurt and pain by pretending it doesn’t exist, but although we can try this all we want, in the end, we can’t hide from ourselves. We need to learn to open our hearts to the potentials of life and let the world soften us.Whenever we start to let our fears and seriousness get the best of us, we should take a step back and re-evaluate our behavior. The items listed below are six ways you can open your heart more fully and completely：

　　1. Breathe into pain

　　Whenever a painful situation arises in your life, try to embrace it instead of running away or trying to mask the hurt. When the sadness strikes, take a deep breath and lean into it. When we run away from sadness that’s unfolding in our lives, it gets stronger and more real. We take an emotion that’s fleeting and make it a solid event, instead of something that passes through us.By utilizing our breath we soften our experiences. If we dam them up, our lives will stagnate, but when we keep them flowing, we allow more newness and greater experiences to blossom.

　　2. Embrace the uncomfortable

　　We all know what that twinge of anxiety feels like. We know how fear feels in our bodies: the tension in our necks, the tightness in our stomachs, etc. We can practice leaning into these feelings of discomfort and let them show us where we need to go.The initial impulse is to run away — to try and suppress these feelings by not acknowledging them. When we do this, we close ourselves off to the parts of our lives that we need to experience most. The next time you have this feeling of being truly uncomfortable, do yourself a favor and lean into the feeling. Act in spite of the fear.

　　3. Ask your heart what it wants

　　We’re often confused at the next step to take, making pros and cons lists until our eyes bleed and our brains are sore. Instead of always taking this approach, what if we engaged a new part of ourselves that isn’t usually involved in the decision making process?I know we’ve all felt decisions or actions that we had to take simply due to our “gut” impulses: when asked, we can’t explain the reasons behind doing so — just a deep knowing that it had to get done. This instinct is the part of ourselves we’re approaching for answers.

　　To start this process, take few deep breaths then ask, “Heart, what decision should I make here? What action feels the most right?”See what comes up, then engage and evaluate the outcome.

　　打開心門擁抱生活

　　生活發生不幸時，我們常常會關上心門；世界不僅沒能慰藉我們，反倒使我們更加消沉。我們假裝一切仿佛都不曾發生，以此試圖忘卻傷痛，可就算隱藏得再好，最終也還是騙不了自己。既然如此，何不嘗試打開心門，擁抱生活中的各種可能，讓世界感化我們呢？當恐懼與焦慮來襲時，我們應該退后一步，重新反思自己的言行。下面六個方法有助于你更完滿透徹地敞開心扉：

　　1.直面痛苦

　　當生活中出現痛苦的事情時，別再逃跑或隱藏痛苦，試著擁抱它吧；當悲傷來襲時，試著深呼吸，然后直面它。如果我們一味逃避生活中的悲傷，悲傷只會變得更強烈更真實——悲傷原本只是稍縱即逝的情緒，我們卻固執地耿耿于懷。深呼吸能減緩我們的感受。屏住呼吸，生活停滯；呼出呼吸，更多新奇與經歷又將拉開序幕。

　　2.擁抱不安

　　我們都經歷過焦灼的煎熬感，也都感受過恐懼造成的生理反應：脖子僵硬、胃酸翻騰。其實，我們有能力面對這些痛苦的感受，從中領悟到出路。我們的第一反應總是逃避——以為否認不安情緒的'存在就能萬事大吉，可這也恰好妨礙了我們經歷最需要的生活體驗。下次感到不安時，不管有多害怕，也請試著勇敢面對吧。

　　3.傾聽內心

　　我們常對未來猶疑不定，反復考慮利弊直到身心俱疲。與其一味顧慮重重，不如從局外人的角度看待決策之事。其實很多決定或行動都是我們一念之間的結果：要是追問原因的話，恐怕我們自己也道不清說不明，只是感到直覺如此罷了。而這種直覺恰好是我們探索結果的潛在自我。

　　開始前先做幾次深呼吸，問自己：“內心認為該做什么樣的決定呢？覺得采取哪個方案最恰當？”看看自己的內心反應如何，然后全力以赴、靜待結果吧。

　　美文五:

　　In this life, what did you miss?

　　The wife asked the husband when she was 25. Despondently, the husband replied: 'I missed a new job opportunity.'

　　When she was 35, the husband angrily told her that he had just missed the bus.

　　At 45, the husband sadly said: 'I missed the oppotunity seeing my closed relative before his last breath.'

　　At 55, the husband said disappointingly: 'I missed a good chance to retire.'

　　At 65, the husband hurriedly replied: 'I missed a dental appointment.'

　　At 75, the wife did not ask the husband anymore, the husband was kneeling in front of the very sick wife. Remembering the question the wife used to ask him, this time he asked the wife the same question. The wife, with a smile and peaceful look, replied: 'In this life, I did not miss having you!'

　　The husband was full of tears. He always thought that they could be together forever. He was always busy with work and trifles. So much so he had never been thoughtful to his wife. The husband hugged the wife tightly and said: 'Over 50 years, how I had allowed myself to miss your deep love for me.'

　　In the busy city life, there are many people who are always busy with work. These people revolve their lives around their jobs, these people sacrifice all their times and health to meet the social expectations. They are unwilling to spend times on health care. They miss the opportunity to be with their children in their growing up. They neglect the loved ones who care for them, and also their health.

　　Nobody knows what is going to happen one year from now.Life is not permanent, so always live in the now. Express your gratitude to your loved ones in words. Show your care with actions. Treat everyday as the last episode of life. In this way, when you are gone, you loved ones would have nothing to feel sorry about.

　　在生活中，你錯過了什么？

　　妻子25歲的時候這樣問丈夫。丈夫沮喪地回答：“我錯過了一個新的工作機會。”

　　35歲時，丈夫生氣地說他錯過了公交車。

　　45歲時，丈夫悲傷地說：“我錯過了見至親最后一面的機會。”

　　55歲時，丈夫失望地說：“我錯過了一個退休的好機會。”

　　65歲時，丈夫匆匆地回答：“我錯過了和牙醫的預約。”

　　75歲，妻子不再問丈夫同樣的問題，丈夫跪在病重的妻子面前，想起以前妻子常常問起的那個問題，這次他也問了妻子同樣的問題，妻子笑了笑，一臉平靜地說：“我這一生，沒有錯過你！”

　　丈夫滿眼淚水，他總是認為可以和妻子白頭到老，于是總是忙于工作和瑣事，從沒在意過妻子。他緊緊地抱住妻子說：“這50多年來，我怎么能允許自己錯過了你對我的愛呢。”

　　在繁忙的城市生活中，有人總是忙于工作。他們整天圍著工作轉，甚至為了達到社會的標準，犧牲了自己的健康。他們不愿花時間來關注自己的健康，在孩子成長的過程中錯失了與之共享天倫之樂的機會。他們忽視了那些關心他們的人，以及他們的健康。

　　沒有人知道一年后會發生什么事情。生命不是永恒的，所以活在當下吧。把你對愛人的感謝說出來，用行動證明你關心他們。把每一天當作人生的最后一個篇章，只有這樣，當你離開時，你愛的人們才會沒有遺憾。

　　美文六:

　　Truly happy and successful people get that way by becoming the best, most genuine version of themselves they can be. Not on the outside--on the inside. It's not about a brand, a reputation, a persona. It's about reality. Who you really are.Sounds simple, I know. It is a simple concept. The problem is, it's very hard to do, it takes a lot of work, and it can take a lifetime to figure it out.

　　Nothing worth doing in life is ever easy. If you want to do great work, it's going to take a lot of hard work to do it. And you're going to have to break out of your comfort zone and take some chances that will scare the crap out of you.But you know, I can't think of a better way to spend your life. I mean, what's life for if not finding yourself and trying to become the best, most genuine version of you that you can be?

　　That's what Steve Jobs meant when he said this at a Stanford University commencement speech:Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice.You have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something--your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle.

　　Now, let's for a moment be realistic about this. Insightful as that advice may be, it sounds a little too amorphous and challenging to resonate with today's quick-fix culture. These days, if you can't tell people exactly what to do and how to do it, it falls on deaf ears.Not only that, but what Jobs was talking about, what I'm talking about, requires focus and discipline, two things that are very hard to come by these days. Why? Because, focus and discipline are hard. It's so much easier to give in to distraction and instant gratification. Easy and addictive.

　　To give you a little incentive to take on the challenge, to embark on the road to self-discovery, here are three huge benefits from working to become the best, most genuine version of yourself.

　　It will make you happy. Getting to know yourself will make you feel more comfortable in your own skin. It will reduce your stress and anxiety. It will make you a better spouse, a better parent, a better friend. It will make you a better person. Those are all pretty good reasons, if you ask me.

　　Besides, you really won't achieve anything significant in life until you know the real you. Not your brand, your LinkedIn profile, how you come across, or what anyone thinks of you. The genuine you. There's one simple reason why you shouldn't try to be something you're not, and it's that you can't. The real you will come out anyway. So forget your personal brand and start spending time on figuring out who you really are and trying to become the best version of that you can be.

　　去經歷去體驗 做最好最真實的自己

　　真正快樂成功的人會長成最好最真實的自己——從內心而非外表上。重要的不是品牌、名譽或者外表形象，而是真實的自我。道理很簡單，講出來也很容易。但問題是，做起來就不簡單了：這需要付諸很多努力，甚或一輩子才能實現。

　　需要窮盡畢生精力的事情必定不容易。成大事者必先苦其心志。因此，你必須走出舒適區，去經歷、去體驗那些會讓你害怕的機會。況且，人這一輩子，若到頭來都認不清自己、未能長成最好最真實的自己，還有什么意義呢？

　　正如史蒂夫-喬布斯在斯坦福大學的畢業典禮上所言：時間寶貴，不要虛擲光陰過著他人的生活。不要讓周遭的聒噪言論蒙蔽你內心的聲音。你要相信，生活中的偶然冥冥中也能指引未來。你要心懷信念——相信你的直覺、命運、生活抑或因緣。這個方法一直給我力量，促使我過得卓然不同。成大事的唯一途徑就是做自己喜歡的事情。若你還沒找到，那就繼續追尋吧，不要停下來。

　　現在我們來實際一點：建議或許很深刻，但聽完卻讓人無從著手，難以運用到當今的快節奏文化中。現如今，如果一個建議講不清具體做什么、該怎么做的話，那么說了也等于白說。不僅如此，喬布斯的講話和我要說的話都需要集中和自制——這兩個品質在當今社會非常難能可貴。何以見得？因為集中和自制都不容易做到。人們很容易分散注意力、尋求即時快感——舒服且容易上癮。

　　為激勵你迎接挑戰、踏上尋求自我的旅途，我列出了成為最好最真實自己后的三大益處：

　　你會感到快樂。了解自己后會讓你更愉悅地接受自己，減輕你的壓力和焦慮，使你成為更好的伴侶、父母、朋友，讓你成為一個更美好的人。這些益處難道不夠說服你為之努力嗎？

　　而且，只有了解真實的自己方能成就大事。你需要了解那個真實的你，而不是你的品牌、名譽、LinkedlIn資料、你的過去抑或他人對你的看法。為什么你不應該過他人的生活？很簡單，因為首先你不是“其他人”，你的本性總有一天會現形。所以，請放開你的品牌形象，努力發掘真實自我、努力把自己經營成最好的自己吧。

　　美文七:

　　Love Is Not Like Merchandise

　　A reader in Florida, apparently bruised by some personal experience, writes in to complain, "If I steal a nickel's worth of merchandise, I am a thief and punished; but if I steal the love of another's wife, I am free."This is a prevalent misconception in many people's minds---that love, like merchandise, can be "stolen". Numerous states, in fact, have enacted laws allowing damages for "alienation of affections".

　　But love is not a commodity; the real thing cannot be bought, sold, traded or stolen. It is an act of the will, a turning of the emotions, a change in the climate of the personality.When a husband or wife is "stolen" by another person, that husband or wife was already ripe for the stealing, was already predisposed toward a new partner. The "love bandit" was only taking what was waiting to be taken, what wanted to be taken.

　　We tend to treat persons like goods. We even speak of the children "belonging" to their parents. But nobody "belongs" to anyone else. Each person belongs to himself, and to God. Children are entrusted to their parents, and if their parents do not treat them properly, the state has a right to remove them from their parents' trusteeship.Most of us, when young, had the experience of a sweetheart being taken from us by somebody more attractive and more appealing. At the time, we may have resented this intruder---but as we grew older, we recognized that the sweetheart had never been ours to begin with. It was not the intruder that "caused" the break, but the lack of a real relationship.

　　On the surface, many marriages seem to break up because of a "third party". This is, however, a psychological illusion. The other woman or the other man merely serves as a pretext for dissolving a marriage that had already lost its essential integrity.Nothing is more futile and more self-defeating than the bitterness of spurned love, the vengeful feeling that someone else has "come between" oneself and a beloved. This is always a distortion of reality, for people are not the captives or victims of others---they are free agents, working out their own destinies for good or for ill.

　　But the rejected lover or mate cannot afford to believe that his beloved has freely turned away from him--- and so he ascribes sinister or magical properties to the interloper. He calls him a hypnotist or a thief or a home-breaker. In the vast majority of cases, however, when a home is broken, the breaking has begun long before any "third party" has appeared on the scene.

　　愛情不是商品

　　佛羅里達州的一位讀者顯然是在個人經歷上受過創傷, 他寫信來抱怨道: “如果我偷走了五分錢的商品, 我就是個賊, 要受到懲罰, 但是如果我偷走了他人妻子的愛情, 我沒事兒。”這是許多人心目中普遍存在的一種錯誤觀念——愛情, 像商品一樣, 可以 “偷走”。實際上，許多州都頒布法令，允許索取“情感轉讓”賠償金。

　　但是愛情并不是商品；真情實意不可能買到，賣掉，交換，或者偷走。愛情是志愿的行動，是感情的轉向，是個性發揮上的變化。當丈夫或妻子被另一個人“偷走”時，那個丈夫或妻子就已經具備了被偷走的條件，事先已經準備接受新的伴侶了。這位“愛匪”不過是取走等人取走、盼人取走的東西。

　　我們往往待人如物。我們甚至說孩子“屬于”父母。但是誰也不“屬于”誰。人都屬于自己和上帝。孩子是托付給父母的，如果父母不善待他們，州政府就有權取消父母對他們的托管身份。我們多數人年輕時都有過戀人被某個更有誘惑力、更有吸引力的人奪去的經歷。在當時，我們興許怨恨這位不速之客---但是后來長大了，也就認識到了心上人本來就不屬于我們。并不是不速之客“導致了”決裂，而是缺乏真實的關系。

　　從表面上看，許多婚姻似乎是因為有了“第三者”才破裂的。然而這是一種心理上的幻覺。另外那個女人，或者另外那個男人，無非是作為借口，用來解除早就不是完好無損的婚姻罷了。因失戀而痛苦，因別人“插足”于自己與心上人之間而圖報復，是最沒有出息、最自作自受的樂。這種事總是歪曲了事實真相，因為誰都不是給別人當俘虜或犧牲品——人都是自由行事的，不論命運是好是壞，都由自己來作主。

　　但是，遭離棄的情人或配偶無法相信她的心上人是自由地背離他的——因而他歸咎于插足者心術不正或迷人有招。他把他叫做催眠師、竊賊或破壞家庭的人。然而，從大多數事例看，一個家的破裂，是早在什么“第三者”出現之前就開始了的。

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